“Our aspirations are our possibilities.”
Dr Samuel Johnson, English Essayist, 1709 – 1784
In his book, ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People‘, Stephen R. Covey suggests to “begin with the end in mind”, and he is right. He asks you to imagine being at your own funeral and asking yourself what you would like all your family and associates to be saying about you?
What character would you like them to see? What achievements do you want them to remember? From this you will be able to work out what your core value and principles are. And this is crucial. Determine what is your definition of success and your behaviour will reflect this. You need to put your ladder against the right wall.
This self-awareness brings with it great, personal power and is the foundation stone for your life and why it is necessary when working on your root chakra, Muladhara, as it is your base. We humans are in the most fortunate of positions to have the freedom to chose and that is what differentiates us from the rest of the animal kingdom. We are responsible for our own lives and we should be able to carry our own ‘weather’ with us. If we internalise these values and principles, then we are not affected by other people’s feelings, attitudes and behaviour. Be careful what you pick up and absorb from others, sometimes what other people say about you are merely distortions and reflect their weaknesses rather than your fact. “You drink like a fish” may be more about their concern for their drinking habits, than for yours.
Take responsibility for your own life and take the initiative to be proactive in determining what it is you want to do; what is your PERSONAL VISION? Accepting this responsibility, together with your self awareness, means that no-one can hurt you without your consent. Those people who take this initiative are the most effective people, and the happiest.
Also, understanding your ‘Circle of Influence’, again from Covey, will provide you with an understanding of what you can control and where you have little control in your life. This is extremely powerful and I suggest you take some time out to think about this.
Outside of this circle are aspects of your life that you have NO CONTROL over: accept these and learn to live with them, don’t let them control you; and these include past mistakes.
OVER TO YOU: Identify the areas of INFLUENCE & CONCERN. Which of the four areas do you need work on? Physical Body, Social Drive, Emotional Communication or Mindful Clarity? This process will help you.
PERSONAL WRITTEN STATEMENT
All things are created twice, once in your mind and then in reality. So be careful what you wish for! With this end in mind, I strongly recommend that you write a PERSONAL WRITTEN STATEMENT and then recite it every morning and night. Entitle it “My Life”.
Before you do this, you need to be aware of your principles and values, as these will provide you with the compass for how to get to where you want to be and the basis for the decisions you make along the way.
So what is your centre?
Stephen R. Covey suggests that PRINCIPLED CENTRED is the most effective, as these are deep dependable truths, with common denominations and are bigger than people or circumstances. The other centres include:
Answer the question to this scenario, to help you determine your centre. There is no right or wrong, only insight:
You have tickets for a film you are taking your partner to see tonight and they have been excited for weeks. You are also meeting your friends beforehand for a meal. Your boss calls at 4pm and asks you to stay behind to work on a presentation which needs to be made at a meeting at 9am the following morning. Your boss offers you overtime or time off in lieu. What do you do?
With your answer, go back over the ‘centres’ and determine which is yours. For example, if you decide to reject your bosses offer, then you may be spouse, family, friend or pleasure centred. If you decide to take the overtime, you may be money or work centred.
Now onto your PERSONAL WRITTEN STATEMENT. I suggest that you base it on the S.M.A.R.T. principles of Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Timebound, written in present tense. (Click here for INTERGITY & PLANNING for S.M.A.R.T). Also mix in there your values and principles and what you will give back in return. The best way I can explain is by showing you my personal written statement:
I am a Lifestyle Entrepreneur who provides effective self-help solutions to people, enabling them to maintain a balanced life. I work on an individual basis and within groups through workshops. I provide products which enable people to achieve this balance. I work with truth and trust, ensuring that any relationships are win/win. I live a balance life myself encompassing my model, so that I can communicate my work with integrity. By 2nd December 2023, I will have created a £1 million business and this will be achieved in various stages during this interim. This money will ultimately fund my spa retreat by the sea for people who require some quiet, peaceful space. In return for this, I give the most efficient service I am capable of, in the most quantity and at the best quality. I will have a cash flow that enables me to look after my family financially and treat them to holidays. I maintain an organised and comfortable home; I ensure my husband is happy and that my children are flourishing; I ensure my parents are comfortable and healthy; I am a figure of trust in my community; I look after my face and body, keeping healthy through exercise and food; I continue to efficiently look after our other areas of financial interest. I follow my dreams and I keep a healthy, emotional boundary between myself and other people’s problems.
OVER TO YOU: Now take time out to write your Personal Written Statement. It won’t be right first time and I am going to ask you to re-look at it further into this process. But make an initial stab at it now.